Finding Strength through Loss: How Grief Can Bring Us Personal Growth

Grieving the loss of a close cherished one is a deep experience that may change your life. However sorrowful and chaotic such an initial loss may be, it can also bring a surprising opportunity for growth and self-realization. Navigating this most painful journey of grief brings the gift of newfound strength and personal transformation.

The initial feeling when one is grieving is that of being very vulnerable. This kind of raw exposition could be a little disturbing, but it is a crucial part of healing. A famous researcher on vulnerability, Dr. Brené Brown, says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change.” By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we heal from our grief and lay the foundation for personal growth.

Unleashing Our Inner Strength

More often than not, grief comes as a surprising revelation of inward strengths. The sails of emotions, impaled with the sharpness of the process of grieving, can unfurl personal dynamism previously unbeknownst to an individual. According to Dr. George Bonanno, a psychologist who has conducted extensive research on the resilience of grief, “resilience isn’t just about bouncing back but also about growing through adversity.” All of a sudden, a person discovering such new-found resilience stands better equipped and more prepared to face the challenges that lie ahead with even greater confidence and resolve.

Reaching Back to Life’s Values

A major loss often provokes re-evaluation in life priorities and values. Loss of a loved one can change perspective for us so that we begin to see the importance of things in life in a much different light. As Dr. Alan Wolfelt, author and grief counselor, says, “Grief can be a powerful catalyst for personal transformation, encouraging us to revise our goals and to live more authentically.” This frequently creates a renewed sense of purpose and direction.

Strengthening Relationships

Grieving can also bring people closer together. Support from friends, family members, and fellow grievers in support groups can strengthen these ties with others and provide a sense of community. Dr. Sherry Cormier, a clinical psychologist, reports, “The connections we make with others during times of grief can be incredibly healing and can enhance our emotional resilience.”

Transforming Pain into Purpose

Another way for grief to lead to personal growth is by transforming pain into purpose. Many people transform their experiences into acts of good, such as advocacy or working with a charity, or some other creative pursuit. As author and therapist Julia Samuel says, “Grief can inspire us to create meaning and to contribute positively to the world, turning our sorrow into force for good.” The shift can give new motivation and fulfillment.

Finding Hope, Moving Forward

In time, most people do find hope and the capacity for moving on. A person may learn to live with the memory of a loved one and even find strength and hope. As Dr. William Worden, a psychologist with a great deal of renown in the area of grief work, puts it, “To move forward doesn’t mean to forget; it means finding a new way to live with the memory of the loved one.” That optimistic view can be held onto and the heart opened toward further experience. This is clearly shown in the memoir The Trip of My Life. In it, Mary Lamb bravely shares her story of losing her son. She describes the deep sadness she felt and how, over time, she found comfort in the loving memories they made together. Her story shows how the love and memories of someone we’ve lost can help us find hope and strength, even in our toughest moments.

Indeed, losing someone special is very hard, but it is also a possibility for growth and strength. Embracing vulnerability, discovering inner resilience, reconsidering priorities, strengthening the bonds of people around, and turning pain into purpose — all activities that can give rise to newfound sources of hope and strength after loss.